Lockdown notes....

It has been so many years that I stopped writing on this blog but I think it is a good time to start writing again. So what has changed since I last wrote? hmmm....I have been working for the last five years, I have grown old like everyone else and I think the biggest change has been that I'm married. Life has changed and it is still beautiful amidst everything that is happening around.

We all know that we are under lockdown and many of us have started taking online courses, some have started a new hobby and some have even started making plans to start a new business. How productive I must say! I'm also one of you who tried doing an online course, started playing badminton so that I do not gain more weight sitting at home eating random things. But have you ever wondered about people who do cannot do all these things? I had a conversation with two of my best friends and we were discussing a post that we read online which said if you haven't learned a skill or doing something productive during this lockdown then you're lazy. Is that really so? I and few of my friends have gone through depression and do you how everyday feels? Tiring and draining. You don't want to talk to people, you don't want to be productive everyday and then there are hundreds of thoughts and worries that you carry which just pushes you down. So to say be productive and have a time where you do so much, just seems too much.

So I would like to take you back to my school days, I went through depression. I would get up each day morning and feel more drained than the previous day. I wished that I could just stay on my bed and sleep but Indian parents when will they ever allow you to be on your own? I realized years later in life that the depression I went through was the culmination of all the things I had gone through since my childhood. To sum it all, it was because of the way people had treated me since my childhood. I was called a dark, fat and useless person who could never do anything in life. All these perceptions from people that I began believing took me years to come out of it (I still have a long way to go). The image that I saw in the mirror was the one that others believed I was and they were all lies. After realizing who I am, I spent a long time proving those people that they were wrong. To tell you the truth it is not worth it.

I tried writing a poem to put down how it was like:

The times that I spent in the nights
where tears were my comfort
and just had a pillow which gave me hugs
Where people could not understand my heart
that a child was wanting some love
No one understood the pain,
the hurts that people gave
It took years for that pain to heal
but the memories still haunt
the child which longed for love.

So, all that I would like to tell you all is that it is alright if you are unable to be productive everyday due to all that you are going through. I would just say stay strong and be safe because you know who you really are - a warrior who is fighting many battles within.

It still exists...

She cried when she first opened her eyes and saw a stranger's face. She was breathing, the stranger looked at her and was smiling. She found warmth in the stranger's hug and slowly, that stranger became her "mama".  That was the first word that she ever spoke. Those were the first pretty eyes she had ever seen. She found beauty in that stranger, from her eyes to her smile.

Slowly, she grew up to see beauty in the flowers, the skies and the stars. Her favorite pass time was making drawings with the stars and staring at the beauty of the trees.

She grew up more. Slowly, people began teaching her the meaning of beauty, fair meant "beauty" and talking meant "smartness". But soon she realized, everything was a masterpiece of a creator and he created everyone with his perfection and creativity.

From the beauty of  words, clothes to hair, everything was like an artists' work for her. She studied to master the art of writing, only to find that writing was an inborn talent, the more beautifully one could weave their words, the better their art would be.

She grew up more, only to find that the world wants a machine to keep repeating their daily chores, not creativity or talent. Some to break that chain of monotony preferred to travel, some went on in pursuit to find their art and creativity.

How she would have known that the world was not about beauty or art? She no longer had the time to stare at the stars, her world was clouded with deadlines and monthly targets. Beauty just meant like a word used to describe something attractive. 

How beautiful it would have been for her if she could have a long walk in a park and count the number of flowers on her path. Or to just lie down and stare at the stars. It was all a desire in her heart.

She wanted to paint her canvas with all bright colours. She wanted to weave words the way she wanted, good or bad but it was all her creativity. She wanted to walk miles and see faces with different smiles and shades, it was all beauty for her. Every face with a different emotion.

But her pursuit to find beauty, all ended in a post on her computer. She went off to sleep to see dreams that remind her that beauty and creativity still exists, atleast in her head.  

My creator's life

At times, when I look at the sad part of my life, all the broken and shattered pieces which are lying scattered in my heart. I break down. I give up. I fall down. I want to end my life.

With all those lonely walks and secrets which cannot even be shared with the walls of my rooms. I give up. I fall face down. With no hope to get up the next day.

With all the broken trusts I have had because of trusting people. I try to run and hide to a place where no one can see me like a crab which hides inside the seashore holes when the tides come. I give up. I close down.

But what makes me stand up again? What gives me the strength to get up and face the world? What makes me realize that my story is not yet over?

A person who brought me to this world. A person who saw me in all those broken times. A person who came and sat with me. He even hugged me tightly when there was a storm around me. He never let me stay in those crab holes forever. He brought me out and he stopped those tides.  

He did not judge me for all that has happened in my life. He never gave up on me. He did not accuse me of leaving him and walking away in my own path. He held me close. He accepted me the way I am. He loves me for everything I am.

He brought back to the green pastures and let me lay down near the quiet waters.

That's why I can't give up on my life. Because more than mine, this is his life. My creator's life. More than my sad broken life. This is a life with purpose and that purpose is to live with him.

The world that exists

You ask me why am I sad?
You ask me why I have tears in my eyes?
You ask me why I cry for the silliest of things?
It is not because I'm a crying baby
Not because I have not seen the worst days in my life
It is just because I see this world as a beautiful place
Like beauty in a blooming flowers
I thought love is what makes us feel alive
But now I think it is all a fairy tale
With 'they lived happily ever after' lies
I see smiles with hatred in their hearts
I see broken people who dared to make this world like their fairy tale
I do see love in some of them
I see them like warriors who want to fight just to make this world to regain its beauty
People laugh at them, mock them and walk away
Am I living in a fairy tale?
Does that fairy land still exists somewhere?
Or Is it only in my imagination?
I want to walk to that place
WALK? Why do I want to run away?
I would prefer to die struggling to make this place a fairyland rather than running away from here
I want to be called a warrior or may be a dreamer
Who never understood that she is living in a dark and lost world
I tried to come out of my dreams and believe in their world
But I ended up seeing a lot of deaths and pits
I just wish someday I reach my world
Someday will I be able to say that my world existed?

You ask me what that world is like?
It is all about love, it is all about care
It is not about pretence, it is not about 'me'
It is about dying to save other's lives
It is all about the innocence of a small child
It is about the truth which is somewhere lost
How long will I cry?
How long will I mourn?
Because there is no shortcut to this world, all you have is a path of thorns and thistles
But still I want to walk on it
Till I find that world which still exists.

And the mountains echoed- Book Review

This is one of the phenomenal books that I have come across after a long time. Khaled Hosseini is also the author of the famous book The Kite Runner. He has well-described and in-depth all his characters. Usually as I start reading, I tend to ignore few characters that seem unimportant to me but you can’t afford to miss any character because it is quite possible that that person might end up being the protagonist in the next section.

The curtain rises in Shadbagh, 1952 in which a father is telling his children a bedtime story. The story is well- presented and is a replica of what will happen in the story later. The bedtime story is about a jinn who takes away one child from the village and how the child’s father Baba Ayub is determined to find the jinn and get back his son. But when he at last finds the jinn and his son he doesn't not bring him back because he knew that he could not afford a luxurious life like the one he has now. Every night the father used to hear a voice but never understood what it really was.

The next section of the story is about how the father gives away his daughter to a family in Kabul. The story narrates a very strong bond between the brother Abdullah and his sister Pari. Then on, the whole book describes about each and every person who are attached to this child, it might be a neighbour or even the driver. Even though the girl had all the luxuries but she always found something missing in her life.

Every chapter talks about the importance of relations and how some people chose to walk away in their lives without showing any importance to feelings like Pari’s step mother, Mrs. Wahadati who leaves her husband and goes away to Paris on the other end a person like Nabi, their driver who stays back to take care of his master till his death. The story also classifies the broken lives of people like Mrs.Wahadati who depend on lust and alcohol. It even describes about the meaning of beauty to the world and how people judge on appearance with the story of Thalia.

Every chapter is interconnected and well-presented but you need to concentrate and remember all the names so that you don’t miss out anyone. The imagination and story-telling pattern is outstanding. Each story has some pain attached and a longing in people to be with each other.

In the end, you might hope that the brother regains his memory and both of them reunite after years of suffering. I don’t want to disclose the suspense. But this book is a must-read.

'Mirror,mirror on the wall, who is perfect of us all?'

I was staring at the sky watching the moon, trying to count a few stars and also guessing the constellation. The cold weather started to make me shiver but I didn't want to shift my attention from my interesting game. But, I was interrupted by my mother's scolding for standing on the terrace in a cold lonely night. I ignored the call and awestruck by the beauty of the moon as I was, continued my counting. But I was suddenly struck by a thought that the moon doesn't have any light of it's own but still manages to show off an image of providing light.

For the past few months, I had been working on a college research work and concluded with the understanding that actors who have political agendas create a particular kind of image in the society to gain votes in elections. In the same way, I feel many people in the society try to create an image in other's eyes. An image of a saint, cool person, sophisticated, intellectual image and many more. I'm not saying all these images are fake it's quite possible all these images are part of their personality but the problem arises when they are ready to do anything to remain in that image.

I feel whenever I write a post I try to create an image that I'm perfect and everyone else is going to hell. I started realizing it recently. It is so easy to point finger on another person but what if I get prosecuted for the same crime? I looked inside, recollected all those times when I pin pointed another person's fault when I myself was suffering from the same disease. I used to hate whenever my mother tried to gossip with anyone on the phone. But, now I realize I do the same thing whenever I get offended or want to vent out.

I remember using this phrase whenever I fought with any of my friend's' Tum apni ungli meri taraf uthate waqt yeh toh dekh lo baki saari ungliya tumhari taraf ishara kar rahi hai' (before pointing out my mistake look at the other four fingers which are pointing at you) now I realize the real meaning of it. It is so easy to laugh off another person's life or to exaggerate someone else's behavior and create humor out of it. But what if you are the worse than the one you are blaming?

In the end I would like to quote these verses from the Bible:

3 `Why do you look at the spot of dust in your brother's eye? But you do not see a big stick in your own eye!
4 Why do you say to your brother, "Let me take the dust out of your eye"? And all the time you have that stick in your own eye!
5 You are not true to yourselves! First take the stick out of your own eye. Then you will be able to see to take the dust out of your brother's eye.

I 'too' have a dream

Growing up watching Powerpuff girls, Spiderman and Superman already brings in a feeling that you are going to save the world one day.

I always had a dream that I want to bring a change in the world. After Class 1Oth, it was time for me to decide which professional door would I like to explore. I thought a lot.
One day I was reading Martin Luther King's speech 'I have a dream' these are the few lines which changed my life:

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

That's when I decided I want to be a journalist and a voice to thousands of those who deserve justice and a better life. There started my journey to be that change I wanted to see in the society.

After two years in a Journalism college, you realize it's easy to scream you want to bring a change in the society but you dare to stand alone and raise a voice in this ugly world. You will be thrown out of the system and never be able to stand again on your feet. Its easy to watch films like Rang De Basanti and get inspired. After my internships I started understanding that the outside world is all about money,power and a web of corrupted people.

Look around the world be it Hitler or today's Bashar-Al-Assad they have killed thousands of people but who dared to stand up and stop it or a raised a voice?

People like Julian Assange, Bradley Manning or Edward Snowden who exposed the US wiki-leaks and their networks are either jailed or living in an asylum. So, who has the guts to make a difference?

But my dreams have still not changed but have evolved and expanded my thinking capacity.

I still have a dream

A DREAM TO CHANGE THE WORLD
A DREAM TO BE A VOICE TO THE UNHEARD
A DREAM TO BREAK ALL THE BONDAGE AND REALIZE
                                                     I AM THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD

 This is what I want to do be it 10 years from now or my lifetime. And Journalism is just the path I have chosen to reach the ultimate goal.

Ek break toh banta hai!

Recently I was travelling in a bus and I overheard two aunties talking. Trust me, it was really interesting. One aunty was cribbing about our Government and getting angry on our very own Sheila Dikshit for constructing 'well-structured' BRTs. She was frustrated as we were stuck in traffic for an hour. She was right but how we all love to crib about everything around us. But what do you think if tomorrow any of those Ministers come and meet her, will she have the same reaction? NO. What if a poor person by chance hits you and apologizes in a crowded bus? We'll abuse him and even beat him up.

This is who we are. Our behavior depends on situations and people around us. Gossiping and cribbing are a part of our lives. But have you ever tried to look inside you? You'll understand your condition is worse than others and you'll regret all the times you dared to accuse another person.

For sometime I had left writing. The long break I had was for me to rethink about my life. I looked inside me to find that truth was far from me. A break to think where my life was going? What was I doing with my life? You can also call me lost for a while. Lost to get back to the right track.
So, these days were a turning point in my life. Time to rethink and realize whatever I had learnt in the long run was just a vague idea of the real truth.

Don't fall madly in love with anything in life which could make you blind to the truth, it might be your religion, your belief, a person or your own perception.

When I actually realize where I'm standing now it feels as if I'm sent back to kindergarten just to get a fresh start. But it makes me a little upset also as I was thinking Oh,I have crossed grade 5 and I have finished half of the race. I'm back to kindergarten, but there is a little difference now. I know that my parents wont come to drop me and I have to travel the rest of the path alone.

So,its time to take a break from your busy schedules and take a look what exactly is going on in your life.

PS: I'm happy that I wrote a post after such a long time. :)

money,money everywhere!

I was talking to a 7-year old kid yesterday and asking her about her best friends, her favorite teacher and all about her new toys. Then I asked her a usual question, 'What do you want to become after you grow up?' She quickly replied to my answer that she wants to become rich, buy a bungalow and a car. I was shocked to hear that answer as I thought she would possibly reply that she wants to become a doctor, engineer or may be an actress. I was thinking when I was her age all I could think about was about playing ghar-ghar with my friends. Then I realized how our homes have become a corporate company where all that people do is to earn money and shower upon their darling kids. Then in this whole process the only thing the kids would learn is to how important money is in their lives. If we have money we have friends, expensive cars, following the latest trends what else do we need? Then they start doing the same thing as they grow up and this becomes a part of their family ancestry. In this modern age, who cares to pass on the morals?In this fast moving generation if you dare to work without pay people would start saying, when you know you have talent then why do it for free? Is my talent kept for sale in the market or what?

 My parents still keep repeating their stories of struggle as to how they walked miles and miles to go to school  and also supported their families by doing all the household work. I just get irritated and walk off but there is a huge difference between 'us' & 'them'. They never worked to enjoy all the luxuries of life but what about 'us'? We start weaving dreams of living in luxurious bungalows and driving a BMW even before we get our first pay in hand. Aren't we becoming greedy?

They work to provide us for all our needs but we work to get all the latest designer clothes and have food in the best restaurants in town. 

So are we just fulfilling our needs or following our greed?

Back on track

Playing monopoly,eating junk food, sleeping and listening to music is all what I'm doing for the past one week. It was an interesting week. But I've missed my piano lessons, left reading books and done nothing useful. Something has changed in this whole process? What's it? Is it me? Or my life?

I just realized there is a whole lot of difference in how you want your life to be and how it actually turns out to be. I always thought I'm a very ambitious person and won't get deviated from my goals for anything. But there comes a phase in life when life just gets derailed from the right track when all you can think of is just sleeping,eating and having fun.

I always thought that don't care attitude is so good because I never had it. But now I realize I have become so numb to everything. I don't care what I'm doing. I don't care where my life is going or why am I wasting time on such things. I just feel sick when I think about my this attitude. It seems I'm blindfolded and I'm just walking and it would ultimately end up in some pit. And this don't care attitude just sucks.

As people always tell me to keep moving on in life. I feel there is no use of keep moving on in life without a hint where you are gonna end up. So as I've realized that everything's messed up. It's time to mend things or at least try doing it. I don't want my life to be pitied by someone but become an example as to how to reach the ultimate dream.

WE NEED RESPECT!

India- a land with the oldest and richest culture, a land with natural beauty, a land where respect and love overflows from our hearts, a land where many religions and traditions are followed, still we all live together in harmony. But what has happened in these past few years? Where has all our respect and love for others got lost? Increasing cases of rape, senior citizens killed for money, women hanging themselves due to domestic violence and many more.

India- a land where every religion talks about respecting women or if you are an atheist then at least due to the sake of humanity let women breathe free. I sometimes feel suffocated in this society where a girl from her childhood is taught to talk less, interacting with boys becomes the talk of the town and as a girl grows up she realizes that she is the one who has to do all the household work while her brother would be playing football all day, then she grows a bit more older she is sent away to a strange house and told to live her rest of the life there, loving, caring and doing all the jhaadu-pocha for them. I never understand why girls have to go through such a pathetic life? Are girls only made to do all the household work and still get abused by the society? While boys on the other hand, spend all their childhood in playing and then are taught that women will remain under you and serve you all her life. I'm not saying that everyone goes through the same or has the same thought. But I feel this is the common thought that prevails in our society. Women play so many important roles like a mother, a wife, a sister, a a daughter-in-law, a daughter. Doesn't she deserve all the respect in the world?

I think all the crimes against women can be abolished only by start working from the root-level. Everyone need to change their thought about women- she's not just a maid but can become whatever she wants to become. Parents should always treat their kids equally and educate both girl and boy.Women should never lose confidence and never allow anyone to look down on her. A mother should always teach her son's to respect women and treat her equal. School can also play a very important role by increasing the self-confidence of the girl child and encourage both girl and boy equally to do better in every field.
A society can change only if it's individuals start working together to build a better country. I learnt this in school- "One alone can't build a bridge but unity among workers can make the bridge stronger."

So, for a change in the society- parents, teachers, politicians, leaders, siblings,police everyone needs to change their attitude towards women.  Respect them and keep them safe. It won't harm you but make you a better person!

G.O.A.L?

Phew! I felt as if it's been a very long time that I wrote my last blog then I checked the date and found that it's just been a week. A week! It seems like a month...The last one week was a roller coaster ride for me. One moment I felt this is what I always wanted to do and the next moment I felt like Oops! I'm  stuck! This is not what I wanted for my life. Why is it always so difficult to take decisions in life?

I have heard many successful people say in their interviews that all along their way they knew that this is what they always wanted to do and then they achieved the best after many years of hard work. I have no idea what I want to do. How can people be so sure of their dreams? Why don't I know what my dream is?
Isn't there anyone who never knew what they wanted to do and then in the search of finding their goal, one fine morning they found it.

I'm so clueless about my life. I always thought life is an adventurous journey and you'll keep on getting trains to reach your final destination and life itself would keep on giving new journeys. But may be I'm too lazy to even do something.

How do people realize their goal? What if the goal you ran after all your lives was never your actual goal and you end up in a cobweb?

I'm still in the search of my goals and I believe I'll find it someday. But I'll never be able to say " I always knew what I wanted to achieve in life".

Years of innocence or curse?

Childhood- the most amazing time of life. The only time in life when we don't have to worry about studies or people. When life is all about playing with friends and getting pampered by parents.

Those innocent yet naughty years of my life are long gone. But it still brings a smile on my face when I flip the pages of my childhood albums. It also makes me remember those friends who have just vanished into the world and never met me again.
When I see the hypocrisy and the pride of the grown-ups, I sometimes feel it would have been better if I was a kid and would have never understood all these things. But after all that has happened in the past week it just scares me to become a kid again.

For me, babies or kids are the cutest thing on Earth and how can someone even think of raping them?  I feel sad that people could even think badly about innocent kids. I was shocked by the news of a 5-year old girl getting raped. I feel sad that people could even think badly about innocent kids. I was shocked by the news of a 5-year old girl getting raped. Seriously, people are becoming animals day by day (Oops! I don't wanna insult animals by saying this, animals are much better). I'm sick and tired of hearing from people they should be given this punishment, they should be hanged to death immediately. I understand this is their way of showing anger or disappointment. But is there any other way to stopping all these cruel and inhuman activities in our society?

We have tried "dharnas" or fasts after the 16th December rape case which seemed unending but it didn't change the scenario much, other than creating commuting problems for ourselves. We give speeches, we write(like the one I'm writing now), we have long debates about it and we also get to hear some precious words from our Ministers like we are very sorry, girls should dress properly etc...etc...(it seems to be a very long list)...But is there an actual solution for it? Can this society change or will it get worse?

I used to think change starts from one person and it can spread like wildfire. But now I'm doubtful about it. I leave this question to you because I myself don't have an answer. Do comment.

Me & my adventurous mind

Once again my semester comes to an end and as usual I'm completing all my assignments overnight. On normal days, I just keep on staring at my phone for a message or a call and I end up getting vodafone service smses and calls. But by the end of the semester my phone keeps ringing as everyone wants to know about assignments or how many of my assignments are left.

I was wondering I'm a last-minute worker,what would happen when I'll actually start working. Everything would be so messed up.Then I just leave it and think I'll see when it actually happens.
Then I remind myself that I had joined journalism course to do something adventurous in life. I never wanted to land up in a boring 9-5pm boring job but now I feel bus kahi naukri mil jaye. Let me just get to the point I feel jobs should be really interesting and fun. According to my imagination, everyone should do what they feel like doing on a particular day. Like if I get up in the morning and I feel like gardening or on another day I feel like rock climbing then on the third day I feel like becoming a chef, I should be allowed to do that and get paid according to my performances in different fields. I don't even mind getting less paid till I enjoy every bit of my job. Wouldn't life be so much fun? Nowadays, I feel work becomes so monotonous and it gets irritating after working for sometime and stop giving their 100 percent.

I always think life is too short to experience everything. If something like this actually happens I would be able to experience a lot of things.
Then I got hard hit by the reality of life that I was surrounded by all my worksheets and more than half of my work was still incomplete.

THINKING OUT LOUD !

People often come up to me and say you seem to be upset or where are you lost or why are you so quiet?  So today I thought I would sit down and write about it.
Many times even though I am surrounded by many people my mind just wants to wander in my own world and just to make it clear most of the time I'm not upset. It's not because the people around me are boring but sometimes my world seems to be more interesting.  I feel there is something  more powerful inside my head than the outside world. And other times I prefer to avoid gossips.

We usually term people who talk less as "boring people" and we all prefer to be in the most entertaining groups. In today's time introverts or may be thinkers are not given the required space. In schools, people who talk less are often left out by teachers. I'm not saying communications skills are not important but introverts need to be given a platform to express their ideas and thoughts about different things. According to a recent study introverts perform better in academics and other activities than extroverts.

Even on social networking sites I feel suffocated because I feel its no longer a communicating platform but rather a window through which people love to peek into others life or other's who are just bragging about their so-called interesting lives.

I feel  it's good to have interesting extrovert people with great sense of humor but because of it don't ignore the introverts. Sit down and talk to them may be they have something amazing to share with you. Even though they might not make you laugh but they might just struck a chord and it might become a life changing experience for you.

A World of perfection

A few days back, one of my aunts visited our place and was having a chit-chat with my mom(her sister). I was just reading newspaper and listening to their stories. My aunt was telling my mom about what kind of ‘bahu’ she wants for her son. The description list was very long but I would like to tell you the few important ones: she should be beautiful, educated, highly paid, good cook and from the same caste and religion. I was just thinking does she want a girl for her son or was she bargaining with God to come down and become her perfect ‘bahu’?

Aren’t we all like this we prefer things which would be accepted by the world or our community and it should seem perfect in the eyes of our people? Haven't our traditional ideologies kept us away from the meaning of true happiness? Are we living for ourselves or the world around us?

Perfect- does something like this actually exist? Its literal meaning is complete and flawless. I can’t relate this word to any part of my life. Does anything seem to be perfect around you? Your life?relations?your room?our country?politics?  No.  Anything that seems to be perfect today might turn out to be a disaster after a few days.  Like an amateur writer whose first piece of writing seemed perfect to him at the time he published it but after he became a well-known writer his first piece just seemed to be the worst piece of writing to him. Even a perfect dress fades off after few years.

We just lose half of our lives in showing how perfect as a person we are or how perfect our relations or how perfect our homes or other materialistic things are. Aren't imperfect things great? I think they are. Because imperfection leads to perfection. We all are imperfect but we all work hard daily to reach that level of perfection(that level exists or not is a doubtful thing).

Is perfection and perception related? Perfection depends on perception. The worst thing in our life can be transformed into the most beautiful experience with slightly changing perception. A flower might seem useless to us but for an artist or a photographer it is the most beautiful thing in the world.

One day I was just waiting for my bus and suddenly there came a special child with her dad as she got into her bus the other kids in the bus were so happy, all were clapping hands and cheering for her.  I just asked her father doesn't he feel bad to see her like this. He smiled for a few seconds and then replied that it took him few months to accept her. But now she is an angel for their family. She is purer than anyone of them as she can't lie or see them upset. Because of her their whole family stays happy as she can't see anyone upset. She has made their lives complete and she's flawless. He said she's the perfect gift by God to them.

That special child might be imperfect in our eyes but the way his family sees her like a blessing there lives have turned out to ‘perfect’ because of her.

If you keep on cribbing about every other thing or person in your life, you would only be dissatisfied and feel useless. But if you keep looking for goodness in people and things around you, you would surely end up having a perfect life even though it has many imperfections. 

Life is still beautiful

Words like failure, struggle or success are often used by us. I have heard people say, “I have struggled to complete my project or to pass my exam” or “I'm a successful manager of my company”. Have you ever thought about these words? Don’t you think our problems, failures or achievements are over emphasized by us? Don’t these words express more than our small lives?

Have you ever thought about a rickshaw puller who cycles double sized people just to earn a small amount daily? Have you ever thought of the pain that laborers go through to pick up large amounts of heavy stones? Aren't they struggling? Struggle just to get some food for their families enough to stay alive. For them failure just means no food for their family and success means food to survive the day.

I feel we all act as if we are theater actors and always in spotlight and whatever happens to us is the only thing that matters in the world. This was what was happening with me for the past few days. We live in a virtual world where we can’t see there are people with bigger problems who need our help and attention instead we focus on the minute details of our lives with our own microscopes.

Struggle,failure,success – are these words only part of our professional lives? Oh, I struggled to get my promotion or because of me my company achieved the target.

 Wouldn't it be a success for us if we were able to just spend some time in orphanages? Isn't global warming because of our failures to preserve a beautiful nature gifted to us?

It’s time to see a real picture of our lives. We need to zoom out of our small lives. Our lives are not only about success, failure or struggles.. It’s about having all these things but still with a cute smile saying, Life is beautiful. 

WAQT- race against time

A few days back I was just switching channels on my idiot box. A hindi movie Waqt was being telecasted on some channel. I tried to watch it then got bored and switched off my idiot box. But later the tagline of the movie just clicked my mind WAQT- “A RACE AGAINST TIME”. But don’t you think it’s so relevant in our lives? It’s at least completely apt for my life. Every morning, even after getting scolding from the whole family I prefer to remain in my beautiful and adventurous dreamland.  Then, at last when my dreams turn into nightmares when I look at the clock I start running around in the whole house. At last, leaving home just 5 minutes before my second class and thinking of myself as Superwoman to reach there by my second class. But the sad part is I reach by the end of the third class. It’s definitely a “race against time for me”.

Time- I think it’s one of the best inventions of a human mind. What would we do if we never came to know about time? How would we reach for interviews on time? And what would some of my studious friends do without their 90% attaining time-tables?

My mom describes me as lazy and tries to scare me by telling me stories of cruel saas(mother-in law)..I try to explain her that I have full on 5-6 years to chill out and then I’ll see what to do about her stories after that. Aren’t we all like this? So worried about future when we don’t even know what would happen to us in the next minute and forget to live our today.

I read this quote somewhere, “Plan as you have a very long life to live but live as it’s your last day on earth”.  Time is important but don’t limit your lives to time. Take out time to do what makes you happy and to bring smiles on those faces which made your life worth living.

Is life beautiful?

Today a random thought came to my mind why have I named my blog 'life is beautiful'? Is life so beautiful for me when almost all my posts are about hypocrisy or differences in our mindsets or how we are losing our relations or how can we bring a change in the society. Does these things add beauty to our lives? May be not.

Life is not perfect for anyone, nor for any multimillionaire in a city neither for any sage on Himalayas. But it can be made wonderful just by putting little efforts. I came back to my city after a long holiday and  I thought I'm gonna miss out many things like amazing scenery or rivers but that's not true. We just focus on the pollution in the cities or excuses of busy lives but leave out the best parts.

'Early to bed and early to rise' this is what we learn from our kindergarten but by the time we reach college it shifts to 'late to bed and late to rise'. Then we have to hurry back to all our daily chores. But in this fast forward life we miss seeing the sunrise or hear the chirping of the birds or may be just staring at the beauty of the flowers, guessing shapes in the sky or enjoying the rain and much more.

I think it's time to just look out for unique beauty of our place and enjoy new experiences everyday. And all my posts indicate a good change which can make our life's much more beautiful.

Hope

Walking through the wilderness,
where heat burns the skin
                     and lonely nights almost kills my soul
where water is my last wish
                     and where humans are non-existent
But my heart still had a hope to see a better tomorrow

I talk to the trees and expect them to reply
I asked the birds to send a request to God  in the skies
I await a response and the day turned to night
But my heart still had a hope to see a better tomorrow

I heard the sound of the streams
                     and thought my wish was granted
But it was just a broken dream
                    I was still there in the forests
I saw a broad path and wished it to be real
                                     But it was just another darker end
But my heart still had hope to see a better tomorrow

Next day the sun woke me up
and streams of water were all around me
Now I can see the land filled with life
Finally I have reached my destination
and I realized my prayers were accepted
and hope in God keeps me moving on in life.